have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
