I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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