All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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