I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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