do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF