I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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