i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
