maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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