HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
