Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
