Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
