Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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