I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
