You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
