he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
