we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
