Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
