I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
