So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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