So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
