In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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