i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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