what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize