just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
