ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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