Do you still have your period?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Randomize
