Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
