so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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