Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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