He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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