was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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