don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
