It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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