i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
