he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
