is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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