I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
