When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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