Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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