I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
