Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it's like iHOP with fire
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
