scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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