Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
