i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
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Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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