i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
