is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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