We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
