Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I hate all girls vehemently.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize