If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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