I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
