my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
