I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
