Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im holly from the hills drunk
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
3 2 1 whiskey
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize