I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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