Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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