is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
