we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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