I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
