If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
