ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
