so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
