Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
