More tranny stories later!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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