1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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