return my video game
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
