Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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